Rich Mintz  

The Washington Post’s Ellen McCarthy introduces us to the online dating ghostwriting industry, which, no, I wouldn’t have believed this existed either. But especially in this economy, where there’s a niche, there’s an unemployed opportunist (oops, sorry, “Virtual Dating Assistant”) to fill it. And so you get anecdotes like this:

Richard, a 39-year-old marketing executive who uses the service, would like to say, for the record: “It’s not like I really have a lot of problems dating people in the real world.” It’s just that he’s busy, splitting time among four cities, including Washington and Miami, and he figures it’s best to meet as many people as possible.

Online dating has worked for Richard, “but it’s all time-consuming,” so when he heard about Virtual Dating Assistants, it seemed like a convenient solution for an on-the-go guy. “Just from a cost-benefit analysis — me spending all this time on doing things that are purely almost secretarial doesn’t make any sense for me,” says Richard, who asked that his last name not be used because he doesn’t want colleagues or potential dates to know he uses the service.

And because he doesn’t want to advertise to the whole world what a douchebag he is. Seriously?! A “cost-benefit analysis”? There’s a reason why guys like these aren’t batting a thousand out on the market. Read the whole thing, then go take a shower.

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