Rich Mintz  

Today was Yellow Pages Day in Manhattan — that public holiday of long standing in which elves scurry about throughout the night and into the wee hours of the morning, depositing identical yellow books, shrinkwrapped in groups of six, on doorsteps throughout the land.

I passed several of these parcels, unwanted and unloved, on my walk from the subway to work this morning. I even momentarily fingered a copy of the 2010-2011 Yellow Book, thinking “I should take this home, maybe I’ll need it.” Then I stopped myself. For what? What could possibly be in that book that I can’t find more quickly, search for more effectively, evaluate more usefully online? I set it down, walked into the office… and found a copy of the 2010-2011 Yellow Book already sitting in the office recycling bin.

Like the landline that it once existed to serve, the Yellow Pages is on its way out. Even nine years ago (!), when I was trying to promote my fledgling bookstore, the ad salespeople were already desperate. (I didn’t bite. What they were charging was ridiculous, and even in 2002 the Yellow Pages already felt “over.”) Now they must be apoplectic from the stench of their own imminent obsolescence. This is a business that still exists only because certain parties (ad salespeople, printing companies, certain types of traditional businesses and conservative businesspeople) are locked in a cycle of mutual addiction and denial, reinforced by a dollop of voodoo and magical thinking. Of all the types of advertising your small business could possibly pay for in the current environment, the Yellow Pages must be one of the least trackable, and it’s certainly one of the least nimble.

Which is why you saw things like this on the street today in Manhattan:

The first three photos above were taken about 7pm, roughly 15 hours after the elves made the last of their deliveries. That last photo was taken at midnight (approaching 24 hours after dropoff) in the lobby of an apartment building. I repeat: in almost 24 hours, nobody in this 10-unit apartment building took a copy. To the constituency allegedly intended to consume it (whose consumption of it is the product being sold to advertisers), this product is literally worth nothing. Why is this thing still being produced again?

Been hacking around on this blog for 3 or 4 hours now, and I’ve discovered a few things:

1. I remember more PHP than I thought. When I dug into the theme files to make a few UI changes, just by examining the context, grepping in the theme directory, and combining some simple trial and error with light Googling, I was able to figure it all out. I cleaned up half a dozen small things that had been bugging me for ages, and uncovered a few more to deal with later.
2. WordPress functions seem well thought-out and well-documented.
3. Boy, do I need some CSS training. Trial and error works, but it’s not the most efficient way to figure out what the hell is going on.

I also had some fun at ColourLovers.com, browsing other people’s palettes and experimenting on my own.

… right there in the left sidebar. Have at it. I also cleaned up the sidebar, and added “Reading Now” at the top.

I try not to write too too many posts of the “wow, isn’t (blank) amazing” variety, but allow me this one.  “Freedom Is Wireless,” the current TV ad from CTIA, the Wireless Association — the industry trade group of wireless telecommunications companies — is really, really good.

It’s incredible to me that only three or four years ago, I was still waiting out my 2-year contract on a Nokia e62, a smartphone only in name, with a slow and unrewarding email client and a temperamental browser, really best suited for, you know, “talking on the phone” (remember that?).  (Although before that I had a Sidekick, just like Paris Hilton! Remember her?) I could not wait to get free of that device — which, ironically, I acquired in the first place because tech-savvy friends of mine told me I’d love it. Some friends. (Guys, if you’re reading this — I forgive you.)

Now I have the whole Internet in my pocket: the Web, Twitter, Foursquare, maps to everywhere, document readers, and so forth.  The screen is small, but it works. And in another device a little smaller than a magazine, which I can tuck under my arm and carry everywhere, I have a full-screen experience, including data entry and manipulation ability that’s more than adequate for light tasks, even over an extended period.  And it’s all so purty!

Last weekend I had my first experience in ages (how long? 3 years? longer?) of going away overnight, with some serious business obligations to take care of, and leaving the laptop at home.  The iPad was more than adequate (much improved by the Macally BOOKSTAND case, which I can’t believe I’ve only owned for 8 days).  The quantity of “mobile Internet” I’ve consumed in a month or so on the iPad vastly exceeds the quantity I consumed in two years on the Nokia e62, and the user experience is vastly more rewarding. And, except when I’m in Canada (which is a conversation for another day), I almost never need to keep track of how much data I’m using.

So thanks, CTIA and your member companies, for making all this possible.  I realize you’re gigantic faceless corporations, but thanks anyway — this revolution wouldn’t be happening without you.

Hat tip: Michael Rose.

YouTube – CTIA: Freedom is Wireless

If I love a software product so much that I’m willing to spend $25 on the company’s promotional merchandise, even though their free product version is perfectly adequate, I feel I should say something.

That product is Evernote, and you should go download it right now on every device you own. More about why in a future post; in the meantime I’ve got to go finish purchasing my “I (Evernote) NY” T-shirt and my “I’m not being rude, I’m taking notes in Evernote” laptop stickers.

This Nicorette ad attempts to sell you Nicorette lozenges by suggesting that if you take them, you can wrestle your nicotine cravings to the ground, even though they’re as powerful as a shark.

Unfortunately, there’s a disclaimer on the screen: “Dramatization. Craving relief in 5 minutes.”

Okay, first, “dramatization”? Is that really necessary? The guy is wrestling a shark with his bare hands. If you need to be reminded not to try this at home, you deserve to be eaten by a shark.

And second, doesn’t a shark take a lot less than 5 minutes to chew your arm off?